The Schism Kappler Experience

One Night our very own Schism Kappler got bored and decided to begin reporting on the activity of wild Noobs in SL, this is the account of his encounter:

[21:45] Schism Kappler: theres a crowd of noobs grazing out here
[21:45] Solari Hayashida: ooh o'o
[21:46] Schism Kappler quietly crawls over a nearby hill, unholstering his pistols, takes aim....
[21:47] Schism Kappler: they dont seems to notice my presence yet.
[21:47] Schism Kappler inches closer for a better view
[21:48] Schism Kappler: *whispers* its not often we have a chance to view these bizzare creatures from such close proximity
[21:50] Schism Kappler: *whispers some more* oh! what were witnessing now is the rare courtship ofthe noobs, see how the male proceeds to wave his e-penis at he unsuspecting female....
[21:50] Solari Hayashida: X3
[21:51] Schism Kappler: oh, hes attempting to mount her, all the while she tries to act unimpressed by this male, he must not be the packs alpha male
[21:56] Schism Kappler continues watching as the female demonstrates disgust with this low ranking male and responds to his advances by orbiting him out of the sim...
[21:57] Schism Kappler: *whispers to the invisible camera* well, it seems she has made her point clear now, i think its best we move on....
[21:58] Schism Kappler stands up to leave and gets spotted, hearing the distinct noob calls of wanting lindens. i turn and draw my pistols and open fires on the pack before making a hasty retreat to safety
[22:09] Schism Kappler hunkers down in a ravine nearby and peers back at the noob pack " they seem to be in utter confusion about whats happened, some appear to be so surpised they've crashed where they stood o_o
[22:11] Schism Kappler: *turns to the still invisible camera* i have an idea...im going to toss this box of freebies out in the field to see how they respond. *hucks it out*
[22:12] Schism Kappler: Oh crap! *hides* theyre stampeding over to it! good lord, theyre ravenous over that box, jsut look at them all jumping, pushing and shoving eachother out of the way to get first grabs on it.
[22:13] Schism Kappler: oh dear, it appears some more of them have crashed during the struggle for the freebies, poor things :(
[22:16] Schism Kappler: it seems they've begun to figure out the freebie box was empty, some are begining to wander aimlessly again. *ducks* i think one saw me! we have to get out of here fast!
[22:17] Schism Kappler flips open a pouch on his coat withdrawing 5 lindens and readies himself to run like hell
[22:18] Schism Kappler throws the money out in the field to distract the noobs and takse off running for his life.
[22:19] Schism Kappler: ok...*huffing* i think were safe now, we best leave them alone for a few days now, they seem rather agitated at the attention.
[22:19] Schism Kappler: so, signing off, this has been the schism kappler experience!